How to stop dwelling on what you don’t have. Breathe in, breathe out. Stop for a minute and imagine with me how utterly ridiculous it is to dwell on what you don’t have. I don’t care what it is, we all have something. Maybe it’s prince charming, maybe it’s Mr. Right now, maybe it’s a baby. Or maybe it is even more complicated like a past experience that went horribly wrong. We are all just a thought away from dwelling on something we don’t have.
I am guilty of yearning for things I don’t have and obsessing over them. It’s not for lack of appreciation for what I do have, I really do consider myself a glass half full person. I try to see the good in every situation, but for whatever reason dwelling on certain things in my life is where I fail. I love my life, but I constantly obsess and dwell on what I don’t have. I didn’t realize what I was doing to myself or my family until it was brought to my attention by my husband. In a casual conversation I brought up something that I apparently bring up all the time. My husband stopped me mid-sentence and asked me to stop dwelling on it. I immediately felt defensive and that’s when I realized I was torturing myself and those around me.
I spent the last few weeks really tuning into what the problems are that I am dwelling on. I have made a conscious effort to stop my thoughts in their tracks. I realized how much these wants in my life took over the happy and fun me. Am I really this shallow that I can’t enjoy the path I am on in this moment?
How To Stop Dwelling On What You Don’t Have
Refocus Your Attention
When you find yourself dwelling, move your thoughts to something more productive. Clear your mind, say a silent prayer and think about all you have to be grateful for. Don’t let your thoughts consume you for more than the few seconds they start.
Talk It Out
Have someone to confide in and talk it out. Sometimes just putting your thoughts out in the open can relieve the stress and negative energy you are putting into it. Allow yourself time to vent and then don’t let yourself dwell on it anymore. Ask the person to help you refocus that negativity if they find you dwelling on it again.
Find A Distraction
Find a hobby that distracts you from dwelling. I find it hard to stop dwelling during down time. Spend time cooking, reorganizing, cleaning out closets or read a book. Get productive in those moments and don’t let your mind wander into dwelling.
Skip Alone Time
Skip staying in alone and make plans with family and friends. Keeping yourself busy and distracting yourself from dwelling is important to bringing on healthy thoughts.
Find A Goal
Find a way to turn what your dwelling on into a new goal. If it is something you want and know you can’t have it, find a new goal that can replace what you are dwelling on.